Kool Milds

Can I get in trouble for saying that Kool Milds are an ideal starter cigarette for young teens? Well, it's the truth … I thought the truth would set me free, not land me in the middle of a class-action lawsuit.

Well, that would be nothing new, anyway. So there it is: with their smooth delivery and deep minty flavor (akin to a Vicks Vapo-Rub administered by mom or, better yet, her sexy, bored, alcoholic best friend), Kool Milds are perfect for anyone looking to take up the habit.

However, for the connoisseur, or even the studied poseur, they are undeniably junky – harsh, unsubtle, scratchy, and more apt to give you a headache than anything else. Why it should be that the experience is so vastly different for a seasoned smoker, I can not say.

How did I, a dedicated Parliament and Dunhill girl, come to buy a pack of Kool Milds, you ask? Well, I was extremely drunk, the convenience store was closed, and the only place that sells cigarettes at that hour is a local bar. So not only did I have to settle for Kool Milds, but I had to pay $7 for them! The decisions I make while inebriated are almost always suspect. Like, I also got married that night! But I'm more pissed about the Kool Milds.

Review by Suzie Cant