Crush Sparkling Tropical Punch

I was thinking about getting a Sprite, but when I saw that the vending machine downstairs had Crush in it, why, how could I not go for it?

Actually, they had two varieties, and I chose Sparkling Tropical Punch, since I'd never had it. Like most Crushes, this one is overly painful, and not extremely forceful in flavor, but it was hardly like drinking the Devil's sperm.

By the way, when I said "downstairs" earlier, I meant Hell. Well can you blame me for speaking that way? I am an Puritan revivalist, after all.

Anyway, Crush is really more the type of thing you drink just because of its unpretentiousness and moderate kitsch factor, or perhaps out of nostalgia. It's not a brilliant drink, though – way too sharply carbonated. It's like drinking Hawaiian Punch from a fire extinguisher. Well, what do you expect from Cadbury Beverages? I mean, their specialty is creamy chocolate eggs, right?

Review by Merit F. Microns