Dogville (2003)
Written and directed by Lars von Trier

Lars von Trier's bitter and bloated diatribe on the hypocrisy of small-town America might be forgiven its pretentiousness if it were at all insightful, or even in the least bit watchable. As boring as the lamest imaginable production of Our Town and as spiteful as a freshly wheelchair-bound would-have-been football star, Dogville employs a lot of really good actors in pursuit of a heavy-handed statement on American morality that has surely been more eloquently expressed in thousands of angsty high-school diaries.

That it uses a spare, theatrical set and smug narration to reinforce its keen observation that Americans are ultimately nakedly shallow and feral beasts is bad enough, but Dogville also rambles on so unpleasantly and at such great length (just shy of three hours), that the joke is ultimately on anyone who bothers to sit through it. It was so belligerently antagonistic that I actually wished I had been watching any of von Trier's other films, each of which I have reacted to with, at my most generous, absolute loathing.

The director shows contempt for his audience, his performers, and indeed for filmmaking itself with one of the most numbing and irritating films ever conceived. Whether its overall wrongheadedness, or its intolerably high boredom factor, is worse, I am not sure … but more than ever, I am convinced that Lars von Trier deserves no more attention than the opinionated drunk in your local bar who makes as little sense sober as when he's really goin' while liquored up. Clearly von Trier hates me, and you, and everyone else … hopefully he will realize that the one he hates the most is himself, and put himself out of our collective misery with a gunshot to the head. He's the Charles Manson of filmmaking, and I'm at a loss to explain why so many talented actors might want to work with him.

Dogville's more apt title is Dogshit. Skip it and go hug someone instead. If I want this kind of unbridled hate in a piece of art, I'll listen to Mayhem, which at least I can laugh at.

this shit blows

Loud Bassoon rating scale

Review by Mr. Wiggle-It