 Final Destination 2 (2003) And as expected in this comedy of errors known as my ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE, I was pretty darn disappointed. Final Destination 2 isn't quite as bad a sequel as Blair Witch 2, but it's way worse than I would have liked. The original, written and directed by a couple of "X-Files" veterans, cleverly sets up a scenario in which Death has a plan, and if that plan is thwarted (by a meddling kid with a vision of the destruction to come), accidents will definitely happen to set things right. The same rules apply in FD2, but the acting is so bad, characters so shrill and unlikable, dialogue so stilted that most of the film's nonviolent scenes are as unappetizing as a blind date with Louie Anderson. Yet there's plenty of gruesome death scenes to satisfy the bloodlust. In fact, the first-act highway pileup is wonderfully chaotic and beautifully choreographed. Each subsequent death is played out with an escalating series of not-so-random coincidences, like a murderous Rube Goldberg machine. As with life, the best parts of FD2 are the deaths—unpredictable, imaginative, and exceptionally brutal. There's even a couple of "Ha-ha, just messin' with you" moments that up the tension. But the film never decides if it's a slick teen "horror" film or a cruel, bloodthirsty Horror Film, so as an audience we're trapped between painfully ironic dialogue and lovingly slow beheadings. If you want a good movie with an interesting premise, rent Final Destination. If you want to watch gory death scenes, rent Louie Anderson for the night and lock him in the chicken coop.
Review by Crimedog |