 Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, & Blonde (2003) How does she land her job? By calling Washington and asking for a job. Why does she want a job in Washington? To pass a bill to prohibit animal testing for cosmetics. Why does this interest her? Her dog's mother is a test subject. How does she know this? She hired a detective to track down her dog's mother so she could send it an invitation to her own wedding to Luke Wilson. Then her dog somehow got them past security at a secret cosmetics testing lab and somehow found the room where her dog's mother was being held. STOOOOPID. Does she get the bill passed? Only after winning over two conservative senators because: 1. her dog is gay and falls in love with one senator's male dog; and 2. she happens to be a member of the sorority the other senator attended (the disclosure of this information turns the previously hard-edged, indifferent lady senator into a giggling schoolgirl incapable of thinking of anything but makeup and tampons). Oh the horror. The film makes almost no sense from start to finish; resorts to dozens of hideously unfunny jokes, idiotic story points, and inane character development; sprays its syphilitic urine on several comedic and thematic elements from the original; and is embarrassingly, flamboyantly gay in a way that makes male strippers who dress like the Village People look unflinchingly hetero, or, for comparison, in the same fashion that Billy Carter is embarrassingly white, Al Sharpton is embarrassingly black and Mel Brooks is embarrassingly Jewish. The only saving grace in this dried-up maggoty diarrhea is the brief and humane inclusion of Bob Newhart, in a straight-man role as a doorman who offers sage advice about Washington, while so clearly ashamed of his appearance in the film that he can barely hide his reflexive grimacing, wincing, eye-rolling and gagging. Neither can I.
Review by Crimedog |
