 Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989) OK, here's something I keep meaning to ask. Why is it that when Larvell Jones makes funny noises – for example, making it sound like a guy across the room is squeaking when he walks and burping when he eats – does everyone not immediately look at Larvell and say, "Hey, stop making those stupid noises! It's so obviously you doing it. Did you really think we couldn't tell??" Even the people right next to Larvell somehow don't hear him making funny noises. What is up with that? We may never know. Which brings me to a more important question: with diminishing returns, poorly aging "stars," zero fan base, and a history of not making people laugh, why in God's name was PA6 made? All of the actors are just as clearly awkward on camera as they were in PA1. Harris is continually subjected to the lamest humiliations. Tackleberry is no longer just kooky – he's an outright psychopath, the kind of freak you see on the news holding people hostage in a 7-11, though they still try to pass him off as adorable. In fact, I've come to conclude that the character of Tackleberry is primarily responsible for the Oklahoma City bombing and Columbine, which is why I'm now suing Warner Brothers for $25 million for violating my civil rights. Actually, just having watched this piece of futso is grounds for a reasonable lawsuit, in my opinion. The story? A faceless "mastermind" is terrorizing the city by sending three bumbling thieves around to destroy and pillage. Of course, since the only new actor is The Mayor, despite pathetic efforts to make us think Harris, Lassard, or Commissioner Hurst are to blame, it's fairly clear the only possible "mastermind" would have to be … The Mayor (sorry to spoil it for you).
The best moments are the bogus attempts to be "up-to-date" – nearly everyone sports a Members Only jacket (a fad that died like 5 years before the movie even got made); the gang uses a "computer terminal" to "link into" the "police computer data files" and store them on a "floppy computer disk" (technology never looked so useless); and they even jump on the rap sensation when Hooks and Hightower attempt to rap their way into the hearts of the local kids *shiver*. And what PA movie would be complete without Larvell Jones doing the classic "Japanese Dubbed Voice" gag? All this, combined with the slowest fight and chase sequences ever recorded on film, led to me falling asleep twice while watching. Don't worry, I was dutiful (masochistic) enough to hit Rewind and watched the parts I missed. Like the moment when someone is attacked by little flying insects that are CLEARLY being controlled by visible wires. My notes say it all: "Exceptionally boring. Good God, why am I doing this to myself?" Box Office: $11.6 million
Review by Crimedog |