Rebels of the Neon God (1992)
Written and directed by Ming-liang Tsai

I don't mind bleak cinematic portrayals of basic human loneliness. And I don't mind movies with a slow pace. What I do mind is when I spend 100 minutes of my life watching a movie in which nothing happens.

Rebels of the Neon God tracks a loose association of bored teens in Taipei as they do what bored teens do: ride scooters, get drunk, get laid, jerk off, play videogames, commit petty crimes, vandalize shit, and argue with their parents. All well and good, but unless you're going to give me some plot, I may as well just watch my own life.

Director Ming-liang Tsai totally commits to conveying the boredom, disaffection, and ennui of these kids' lives, mainly by filming realistic, drawn-out scenes of completely mundane situations. As a piece of art, then, it has merit. As a movie, it sucks.

At one point, a character pauses before a James Dean poster hanging in the local arcade, staring up at it without emotion or connection. If Tsai is trying to tell us that the film is a Gen-X Rebel Without a Cause, the point is taken … as is the point that such a film is not needed.

I came away from it with the realization that indie film is not necessarliy better if it's from another country, nor is the boredom of youth any less boring if it's not your own.

By the time the film finally gets around to having a story, it's a stupid one. All the mind-numbing boring-ness might have served some simmering purpose if the plot had finally exploded, but it's like waiting two hours for a fireworks display only to have someone come out and blow one Snap-Cap on the ground.

Rebels is early Richard Linklater without the dialogue or ideas, or Life is Sweet-era Mike Leigh without the insight. An art film in the worst possible sense.

Review by Mona Lockett