The Ring Two (2005)
Directed by Hideo Nakata
Written by Ehren Kruger

You'd think the sequel to the American remake of Ringu would be a remake of the Japanese sequel, Rasen, or perhaps the spinoff sequel Ringu 2 (which somehow isn't the direct sequel to Ringu), if not the Japanese prequel Ringu 0. Instead, The Ring Two is a totally distinct sequel, despite being directed by the same person who made both Ringu and Ringu 2 (but not Rasen, Ringu 0, or The Ring). Hey Ringo, can you help us sort it all out?

Perhaps Nakata was confused too, because The Ring Two, unfortunately, makes very little sense. Dispensing with the original concept of the cursed VHS tape, this sequel arbitrarily revises the premise so that the evil girl trapped in the well now just wants her mommy, so she possesses the annoying child-actor son Aidan (David Dorfman) of perpetually terrorized single mom Rachel (Naomi Watts). The possession aspect isn't explained with any clarity, resulting in an ongoing sense of pending dread that quickly diffuses into the sort of headache you get when you do your taxes. Where The Ring had plenty of chilling moments, The Ring Two just collapses into, at best, predictability, but more often into boredom and incoherence.

Elizabeth Perkins, Gary Cole, and Sissy Spacek turn up in small roles for … um … I'm sure some kind of reason, but mostly The Ring Two consists of Naomi Watts running around in a panic while her irritating son stares "chillingly" at her and/or calls her "Rachel" so many times that it starts to induce a Pavlovian wince-reflect. Some interesting bits are finally delivered about ten minutes before the end, but by that point, the self-parody factor has accrued to such an extent that it's impossible to get all that excited. I think overall I was more scared by Scary Movie 3.

Review by Ham Jona