 Chicago Diner
If you're vegetarian in Chicago, two things are certain:
1. You've been beaten up at least once by the Polish meat gangs.
2. You've eaten at least once at Chicago Diner.
It's Chicago's oldest vegetarian joint, and I think the key to its longevity is that the menu is almost entirely comfort food—meaning, it's the kind of veg place you can take anyone to and they'll love it. Doesn't hurt that the atmosphere is completely unpretentious, either. I've eaten here many times—on dates, with friends, with friends-with-benefits, on dates-with-no-benefits, and once with my company's HR benefits manager, Dolores Beneficio. Let's just say I find it "beneficial" to eat here! 🤠
For this visit, I was being treated to a birthday dinner by a generous benefactor who shall remain nameless (oh alright, it was Dolores Benficio's mother, Doris Beneficio). My usual dilemma ensued: whether to go for the Cajun Black Bean Burger or the positively seitanic 🤠 Radical Reuben™ … I went with the burger, and sweet potato fries. Goddamned tasty! Unfortunately, right on cue, as I was leaving, I was jumped by a Polish meat gang. I squealed "But it's my birthday!" … so they let me off easy with no more than twenty kielbasa lashes across the head and neck. I can't be sure exactly how many; they were counting in Polish.
Review by Pumboo Dongo-Dohnoh, April 2019 |
