 Horseman's Haven
If you spend any time at all in Santa Fe, you'll probably have a similar experience to mine. It begins with getting something with green chile on it; quickly spirals into a full-blown craving for more and hotter green chile; and ends with the supershits. And just like an addiction to bath salts will at some point find you out near the interstate picking fights with oncoming semis, a green chile addiction in Santa Fe will surely land you in Horseman's Haven.
If you're lucky, that is! This place is very nearly the textbook definition of "roadside diner," given that it's a roadside diner, and while it's a little off the tourist-beaten path, that's obviously a good thing, because if you've gotten past the point of suckling green chile breastchile from your chile-mamma's great green teat, you're gonna start craving the strong stuff. And if it looks like the kind of place where you're likely to get into a Road House-style brawl, well … why the hell not?
3-D Burrito with level-2 chile and a Coke. The chile levels are serious here; I can tolerate a 30-habanero enema and the level 2 here had my mouth sweatin' to the oldies (specifically, "Fire" by the Ohio Players and "Hot Stuff" by Donna Summer … look, I never said my mouth was cool). I could swear I requested some level 3 on the side (the levels go to 5) but that whole episode may have been wiped from my brain, much like most of a bath-salt fugue.
The burrito was filled with ground beef and potatoes, and covered in a serious amount of cheese; needless to say, it was delicious, as were the accompanying beans. Whether I'd say Horseman's Haven is a "must-try," it is not for me to say … it certainly was fuckin' tasty, and the slightly rough 'n' tumble ambiance perfect, but nowhere on my birth certificate does it say "Zagat." Well, by chance, it does say that on the back, but only because I was jotting down some travel books to get. Review by Wimpempy Tarlisle, March 2017 |
