wienerschnitzel #65

Wienerschnitzel #65
3010 Pico Blvd, Santa Monica, CA, USA

Founded in 1961 by a protégé of Glen "Taco" Bell and boasting a logo designed by Saul Bass (!), Wienerschnitzel is as quintessentially Southern Californian as old-school skateboarding and/or Cheryl Tiegs's flawlessly groomed 1978 bush.

Seeing one of these bright yellow A-frames is sure to plant thoughts of chili-cheese dogs in your mind, unless it's one that's gone out of business, like how you'll sometimes see a Hispanic insurance office inside a former IHOP.

wienerschnitzel #65

On occasion I've dined at the tables outside Wienerschnitzel #65, but I especially enjoy the drive-through experience, which is somewhat like driving through those giant trees in Sequoia National Forest, but instead of having to feast your peepers on endless boring-ass trees, you're getting a hot dog! Or several! To eat in the car.

This is the sloppiest car food ever made, but who cares? Just have your white slave lick it up when you're done. You don't have a white slave? Jeez, get with the times—we have a Black President!

der wienerschnitzel chili cheese dog

Wienerschnitzel actually sells fully legit and quite delicious all-beef hot dogs among the many other fast-food treats on their underrated menu, but I must say, I have a real soft spot for their grossest and most signature offering, the basic shitty, clearly-not-all-beef chili cheese dog. Quite a thing of cheap majesty, and pretty filling for something that costs two bucks (even less sometimes when they're running one of their "EAT SHITTY LIKE IT'S 1961!" pricing deals).

I'll get one on the fly sometimes when I'm passing by, usually as a reward for a bad day, a reward for a good day, or a reward for my white slave for staying cool when a cop pulls up next to us. Strangely, it isn't the chain around her neck that ever arouses suspicion, it's always a "broken tail light."

Review by Toothy Berserker, November 2013