Beatlology (Vol. 6 No. 4 – March/April 2004)

I'd feel bad taking a magazine like Beatlology to task on any level, as there is no point in doing so. It's made by and for Beatles fans, and, as with Scrabble® aficionados or Hassidim, as long as they keep to themselves and don't bother anyone, it's not even a blip on my radar.

Yet I can't tell whether it's more pointless to criticize Beatlology or to publish it … in the Internet age, especially, anything you can print in a fanzine is outdated by months long before it even hits the stands … that is, if your fanzine is eminent enough to actually be stocked anywhere.

Of course, there are always Beatles fans, so there will always be Beatles fanzines. As to the need for any of them, it's pretty clear that there is none. Beatle freaks are notorious for collecting any and everything they can get their hands on that even mentions in passing the group, its members, or even its extended cast of related musicians and family members. Indeed, before I was cured of my Beatlemania by a conservative yet progressive Christian church (they holed me up in a room for three months, allowing me to listen only to Duke Ellington and, curiously, Heart), I myself kept a sad scrapbook of every remotely Beatles-related news clipping I ran across in magazines and newspapers. Billy Preston turns 54 today? YES! Another addition to the scrapbook!

Fortunately those days are behind me, and all I collect now is unemployment (and Gundam cards). So my purchase of Beatlology stemmed entirely from being two hours away from a long flight, being in a Tower Records, and being extremely flippant with my money. At $5, this ad-filled 32-page glossy zine could hardly qualify as a value, as the actual information provided is scant, and I don't even pay $5 for a lap dance anymore (if they can't get the job done in under $3, I'm GONE). But admittedly, Beatles fans don't particularly care whether they're reading a Beatles-related article or looking at a Beatles-related ad, so the point is moot.

The issue in question featured a really boring article about the "Beatlemania!" exhibit at Seattle's Experience Music Project (sadly, not all about the stage show); a few random columns with lame, outdated non-news; and an actually terrific article that presented an angle to the "Paul is Dead" story that I'd never heard before, involving a friend of Paul's crashing Mssr. McCartney's beloved Mini Cooper while transporting Sir Paul's secret stash of drugs to a weekend party – it was this car accident that actually lent credence to the whole "Paul car crash" rumour. This was one of the most candid articles I've ever seen on that subject, offering a totally new perspective on the mythos as well as on Paul's mid-60s party-guy persona. Very cool.

A few bootleg reviews round things out, and a whole bunch of ads, one of which was for a reconstruction of Ringo's jacket from the cover of Abbey Road! I must admit, for all the crap Beatles swag out there, this is something I'd consider buying.

So as a way to pass 20 minutes of red-eye airplane time, Beatlology served me well. As literature, eh … it is what it is. I'm very glad not to count myself among the ranks for whom this would be essential reading anymore, but I can't really condemn it for those who want it. Let the fools have their tar-tar sauce.

Review by Jan Stickenstam